My friend Stella posted this quote on pinterest and I was so drawn to it. My life has been filled with ups and downs, chaos and simplicity, joy and despair, just like everyone else. Regardless, I am proud of all of it. And most of all I'm proud of having the strength to start again, especially at the times where it would be easier not to do so. I don't know if I believe that we ever start again because I think that no matter what, little pieces of the past and our experiences always remain within us somewhere. I like to view it as changing direction.
For me I feel a definite sense of changing direction right now. An opening up even. I am continually amazed by the phases of life we go through and the changes we experience, even the most subtle. A month or so ago I was feeling stuck, uninspired and was struggling to experience joy in the everyday. Now that has shifted and I feel far more hopeful and opening to experiencing life in whatever way it comes. My creative spirit has been awakened again and I am spending a lot of my time watching movies and reading books, which is great because I love to be drawn into an experience or space that is different, to have my perspective on life and the world change and to be inspired by what others have been through or achieved.
It was uncanny that I came across this quote just after I had finished watching Midnight In Paris, where the focus was on writers and creatives such as F. Scott Fitzgerald, and where the main character played by Owen Wilson, inevitably learned that he had to indeed start again in order to live a life that he could be proud on and that reflected who he truly was. I've experienced the starting all over again in the past 4 years in nearly every aspect; relationships, career, with myself. Those have all been in huge ways. But more recently starting all over again has looked like little changes. Starting again does not always mean we have to change every aspect of our lives or choose a monumental action. It can simply mean shifting one perspective or belief, or saying 'yes' instead of saying 'no'. For me, it has often been these small actions along the way that have had the biggest impact.
I don't necessarily know what is around the corner for me but I look forward to each week and seeing what I learn, what joy can be found in simple things. And I am just really happy feeling like I'm living 'my life'. There will always be things to wish for and strive for and there are things I haven't experienced or don't yet have in my life that I definitely believe I want. But for now I'm content in knowing that I'm on the path exactly where I'm meant to be and that things will unfold in the best way possible provided that I stay optimistic, open, creative and willing to step outside my comfort zone.
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