Saturday Soul: Say What You Need To Say...

Walking like a one man army

Fighting with the shadows in your head

Living up the same old moment

Knowing you'd be better off instead

If you could only.....

Say what you need to say...

Have no fear for giving in

Have no fear for giving over

You'd better know that in the end

It's better to say too much

Than never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking

And your faith is broken

Even as the eyes are closing

Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say....

I'm clearly on a path of working through and shifting my 'stuff' right now. Its not easy, but its good. Once you begin to feel what it's like to not be weighed down by the people, thoughts and ways of being that no longer serve you, it actually spurs you on to keep doing it. To face those issues that have plagued you your whole life, so that you can get rid of them once and for all. As opposed to burying them like you have done for years on end, knowing that its only a matter of time before they rear their ugly heads again. My path and space is being cleared for the good stuff to come in.

And, as the lyrics of John Mayer suggest above, what I'm shifting or focusing on right now is my ability to say what I need to say. To whomever it is that I need to say it to (including myself). I've spent a lot of years not communicating what I really think or feel, of burying hurt and frustration and it isn't healthy. I'm way better at addressing this than I used to be but new challenges are always arising and its a work in progress. So when I need reminding to speak up instead of burying, I take a moment to listen to the smooth voice of Mr Mayer to set me back on track (such a wise and HOT man!).

As I type this I've just pressed send on a message to a person who has been in my life to a degree for the past 6 months or so. The message was essentially saying thank you for what you have brought into my life, I've really enjoyed knowing you for this period of time but for me, our friendship/interaction needs to end here. I could have just decided to hit 'delete all' on all messages from this person and ignore future attempts at contact. I've tried this tack before after I'd been left to feel disappointed or uneasy by something this person did. But really, thats just half-arsed (ie I'm taking the easy way out or not really doing what I truly needed to do) and I always succumbed to future contact. Perhaps at those times I wasn't ready to cut the cord. This person wasn't in my life in a mutually beneficial way and it was not evolving in a way you would expect a relationship or even a friendship to evolve, yet I still couldn't completely cut them from my life. I wanted the safety net (even though in the long run this wasn't what my soul really needed).

After some soul searching last night and this morning I decided to do what needed to be done and say what needed to be said. I may have some butterflies in my stomach ie their reaction and have a slight feeling of 'shit, there goes my safety net' but ultimately I have done the right thing. I don't need a safety net (particularly in the form of someone who isn't adding any value to my life). No more thoughts of 'better to have a certain person in your life in a less than desirable way as opposed to not having them at all'. Because it isn't. I'm gaining clarity regarding what I truly wish to bring into my life and part of making that happen is ensuring there is space for what I do want to come in. I am making it known to the universe that I expect greatness for myself in regards to the quality of relationships that are in my life - I expect it for myself and I'm willing to push through my fear and old ways of being in order to say what I need to say and have what I really want.

And now for some eye candy ; ) .....

                                                                        Source: google.com via Belinda on Pinterest