Thursday Thoughts: Weight A minute...

                                                                   Source: searchingforbliss.tumblr.com via Belinda on Pinterest

I am going to preface this post by saying that I am not a person who weighs myself, or advocates the use of scales, or has even ever owned a set of scales in her life. But every now and then, if I'm at a family members house and they have some in the bathroom, I may just jump on them out of curiosity. For the most part it ends in a shrug and the thought 'Yep, still the same'. I'm never looking for weight loss or anything but every now and then its good to know that I'm maintaining my usual (ok, I'll be honest and say usually I'm thanking my lucky stars that somehow all the treats I allow myself haven't ended up being reflected in the number on the scales). 

Anyway, this past weekend, I jumped on the scales and for the first time in my life, did a double take. I actually thought my eyes were blurry and I'd just misread the number. On closer inspection, however, I realised that the number I originally saw was indeed THE number. My head then went to 'Maybe I should ask my sis if her scales are out of wack', which I didn't do because I actually wouldn't have been able to handle the reality of there being nothing wrong with them. So I took myself (and my nachos filled body home to just mull over this turn of events). 

The following day I was at my parents house and, when faced with their scales, couldn't resist a confirmation weigh in. To my horror, I looked down and THE NUMBER WAS THE SAME!!!! It seriously was like a tonne of bricks landed on me. I don't say any of this from a place of having any kind of view on weight and it wasn't even the actual number that got to me so much. It was more the fact that I knew I had been ignoring the rather unhealthy lifestyle I have been leading over the past few months. But when I failed to see my 'usual' weight on the scales reality hit me full on and I knew I couldn't keep deluding myself.

So this week has been get back on track week for me in terms of exercising and better food choices. (You will notice that the word diet doesn't enter the equation - never been on one and never could. I love my food too much. Plus the minute I restrict myself all I can do is focus on it and the opposite of what I'm trying to achieve happens). Its not about losing weight but acknowledging that I haven't been taking care of myself. Deep down, I've known my lifestyle has not been consistent with who I am, who I want to be and how I want to live my life and I can't keep pretending that it doesn't matter, because it does. Exercise has always been such a huge part of my life and since not doing much of it regularly, I haven't really felt like my true self. 

Apart from my initial shock and slight disappointment in myself in regards to my lack of self care, I'm not beating myself up about it. Sometimes you aren't in a place to focus on certain things in your life and other areas have to take priority. My path this year has been exactly as it needed to be. And now its time to focus on my physical health again now that my mental and spiritual health is on track. This week I am proud to say that I have been conscious of what I'm eating, have eaten nutritious meals (including salad), not eaten any chocolate or junk food at work, scheduled exercise into my week and have done yoga, run and hockey training. And I feel sooooo much better. 

Here's to recognising what you need and getting out there and doing it for yourself!