The quote I posted yesterday in words of wisdom is ringing so true for me right now, that I couldn't not post it. Change and release and creating space for the new to come in is in the forefront of my mind. At times I fear space and I have a complicated relationship with it - I think I want it, but when I create it, my ego kicks in and I freak out about the lack of familiarity and start to doubt my ability to bring into the space the things I want. My mind starts to tell me that instead of giving me what I wanted I'm really just alone. And then I end up clinging to the things and people and ways of being that I was trying to move beyond in the first place. The key is waiting long enough and being patient enough to allow the new things to come in, when they are supposed to (which might not be the time at which you think you want them - therein lies my greatest challenge - reconciling the two).
It's all just about changing habits and creating new ways of thinking and reacting, which takes time and practice. So I'm being gentle with myself, arming myself with supporters and confidantes who will help me move through this phase until I get to where I want to be. As one of my wise friends pointed out, I'm well beyond the point of succumbing to fear. Instead of letting it take me down, I need to thank it for the motivation to keep moving in the opposite direction. That advice is gold, pure gold. I've let myself succumb to fear and doubt in the past and I am vowing not to do it this time. This time I'm doing everything I can to create the space, connect with my spirit, ground myself, set clear intentions, instigate meaningful action, and allow the universe to work its magic and work with me to create the next amazing phase of my life (as well as to enjoy where I am at now). This is a real test of how much I believe in myself and I don't want to let myself down or sell myself short this time.
And on that note, I'm going to take a break from the blog for a little while - I'm thinking for the rest of June. It was a hard decision to make, as my regular posting is something that keeps the creative side of me going and it's like my 'thing' to do each day. But, in light of what I'm working on, I feel I need the space for fresh ideas and creative inspiration to come in and it's sometimes hard to get that unless you remove yourself from what you already do. Never fear, however, 'cause I'll be back bigger and brighter and fresher than ever in July!
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