Tuesday Treats: Macaron Marvel...

                                                                 Source: eatlivetravelwrite.com via Belinda on Pinterest

Monday Musings: Not My Lesson To Learn...

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This is my mantra today. Over and over I've been repeating it to myself as I have to consciously choose not to take something on. It is something that I felt I had to take on and solve during my married life, because the consequences of not doing so felt too great for me to handle. But given that I am no longer in that relationship in the same way, I must let go of playing the role of the fixer and problem solver in this area, even though the consequences may upset and impact my son (Please note, the consequences are not life threatening to my son, but a mother never wants to have their child be unnecessarily upset or unsettled). Its hard to shift from playing a certain role in a relationship, especially when you've played it for so long. But this issue keeps rearing its head, so its time to call an end to this pattern. I need to trust and accept that this is not my lesson to learn (God knows I have enough of my own to learn without taking on other people's!), and have faith in the fact that whatever the consequences, it is what needs to happen and is the way things are meant to pan out. I also do not need to take on any guilt surrounding this issue as I know in my heart that I did not create the problem and am not responsible for solving it.


So often we think we are doing people favours by bailing them out or fixing problems. And sometimes we are - particularly if its something that is a one off. But if it is something that is repeatedly coming up, we can actually end up doing that person a disservice by not letting them solve the problem or learn the lesson that is there for them to learn. I was definitely guilty of this in my married life. Not deliberately so, but guilty nonetheless. At the time I thought I was doing what I had to do (and what I was being asked to do by my partner). In hindsight what I was actually doing was saving myself from suffering what I perceived to be the even greater negative consequences of me not fixing things. At the time I didn't have the courage to not take it on or the belief that my partner would be able to take responsibility for his actions (after all, if I did believe in him I wouldn't have solved the problem even when it went against everything my heart was telling me).


Anyway, we all live and learn. And the universe is giving me the chance to learn what I need to from this re not taking on someone else's problem or lesson and allowing them to learn it for themselves. Its time for me to set the boundaries, step back and act in accordance with what is for my higher good.

Sunday Sounds: Band of Horses...

Saturday Soul: Trust Where The Light Leads You...

                                                             Source: studerteam.blogspot.com via Belinda on Pinterest

On Wednesday night I did a group tele-conference call with my ever amazing teacher and friend, Krista Jane. It was an hour and a half of inspiration, clarity, manifesting, looking at what worked and what didn't in the past year, talents and gifts, challenges, connecting with our higher selves, meditation and checking in with what our ideal lives for 2012 would look like. Phew, so much goodness! There is so much for me to still reflect on, work through and process but some interesting things have already come up for me.

When I had to answer the questions "If my life were ideal in 2012 what would it be like? What would I do, experience and have?", the ideas that came to me were to be in love and in a relationship, to spend lots of quality time with Bailey, to travel, to be excited, to feel energetic, to be physically strong and healthy, to be happy, to laugh, to feel motivated, to be excited, to feel spiritually aligned, to be connected to my intuition and to relax.

The main word that kept flashing in my mind above all of these was LIGHT. Almost as if my heart's desire was to drift through this year. Not in a mindless, unconscious way but in a mindful, not being pulled down by emotions, events, other people, myself etc kind of way. In thinking about it now I feel as though it stems from my desire and commitment to being so much more in touch with my intuition. I really feel that that is key to me creating a year and a life that I want. I'm sure there is more to this and that I will come to understand it more as time goes on, but my soul and higher self is definitely calling out for this feeling so I'm going to listen. I don't think it was any coincidence that I pulled an oracle card the following day that read "Trust where the light leads you - go where you can feel true love, kindness and freedom. Avoid all that comes from anger, hatred, judgement, blame and ridicule." WOW....

Fabulous Friday: Hawaiian Massage...

                                                                            Source: tumblr.com via Brooke on Pinterest

This afternoon I had a Ka Huna massage. A Ka Huna massage is designed to be the pinnacle of loving, healing touch and iss used as a method of personal development, healing and spiritual discipline. Ka Huna massage is often referred to as "temple style massage" which is all about honouring your body as a temple. I had 3 different types of massages last year when I was in Hawaii but have never had one here in Sydney. After having one and reading a little more about the philosophy, I can see why anyone who is drawn to spirituality would enjoy this type of massage. I'm going to explain the principles behind it because I was really drawn to them and I think many of you may be too.

There are Seven Principles of Huna, which forms the foundation of the philosophy at Sydney Ka Huna massage (which is where I went). To be effective these principles need to be embodied and not just intellectually understood. Integrating these principles is a way of life.

IKE (ee-kay)
The world is what you think it is
Be Aware
Our thoughts make us who and what we are. If you want to change your situation, all you have to do is change your thoughts. Your body and your life will follow. Alter the way you see reality and you WILL alter reality.

KALA (kah-lah)
There are no limits
Be Free
Following on from Ike - ensure that when you think, you think without limitation. Don't think about the things that you are "allowed' to have, or the things you believe are "just possible." The most successful people think without limitations. Be free in your thinking. Whatever the mind of a person can conceive and believe, it can achieve. So think BIG!

MAKIA (mah-kee-ah)
Energy flows where attention goes
Be Focused
Whatever holds your interest will also tend to attract your emotional and physical energy. The more successful a person is, the more you will find that they direct and hold their energy on something by conscious choice. They don't wait for something to catch their attention; they go out and catch something with their attention. A person at all times has a choice as to what they focus their attention on  - so be focused on what you want at all times.

MANAWA (mah-nah-wah)
Now is the moment of power
Be Here
The past or future does not have any power because you can't touch it, taste it, smell it, feel it or react to it in any way. For all practical purposes it doesn't even exist. All we have right now is the memory of things, skills, pains, and experiences. Its the memories that we respond to now - not the past itself. The memories exist in the present moment and you can alter your relationship to them - change your thinking about them and thereby change their effect on your life.

As for the future, no one knows what is going to happen. We can make logical or intuitive guesses but we don;t really know. However, if we think of the future as a blank slate (rather than fixed or predestined) then we give ourselves permission to try anything.

ALOHA (ah-lo-hah)
To love is to be happy
(the joyful sharing of love energy in the present)
Be Happy
Aloha means many things, but in one word perhaps its best described as 'Love." Love is happiness. Aloha is caring for others as well as or as much as for your own self. It is with "Aloha spirit" that all things are done in Hawaiian culture. Do no harm to others and do not cause unhappiness to others.

MANA (mah-nah)
All power comes from within
Be Confident
Mana is power or energy. All power comes from within. Hawaiian belief is that Mana is the name for one source of all power that exists in the universe. This power is universal and flows through not only us, but through animals and plants, the foundation of the earth, the skies and planets and everything that we know exists. Its a life energy so to speak. This Mana flows through us and gives us the power to do what we believe we can do. The power to do anything that we decide to do and that we take action towards.

PONO (poh-noh)
Effectiveness is the measure of truth
Be Positive
Effectiveness is the measure of truth. A method, plan, certain actions, when put in motion may work. If they work, that is all you need to be concerned with. There are many ways to do thing. Don;t pigeon-hole yourself into thinking you can only accomplish something in one way or that there is only one truth. That there are always alternatives to what you're doing is the crux of "Pono" - do what feel right for you.

In a Ka Huna massage the practitioner uses hands and forearms in long fluid strokes of varying intensity and rhythm up and down and all around the body. The flow also incorporates stretches, under-body work, deep tissue techniques and sound vibration. The energising effects of these stimulating movements and creative techniques are combines with clear healing intent and invocations (through chant or prayer) for positive transformation on all levels. The radiant quality of Ka Huna touch communicates love, awareness, balance and compassion.

The use of forearms made it very similar to the massage I had when I was in India. I would really recommend it to anyone who likes a spiritual and healing element to their massage (Its not like a typical day spa or beauty massage). There really is a connection between yourself and the person giving the massage (Adriana gave me the biggest hug after my massage - it was lovely). And, in a surprise twist to the experience, when I first sat down one of the practitioners bent down and said "Hello beautiful Goddess, I know you and your beautiful sister here." And here was a girl named Sonia who my sister and I had gone to high school with and who we haven't seen since the day we left school at the end of 1995. So amazing the people who are brought back into your world when and where you least expect it. For me, it really was a fabulous way to spend a Friday afternoon......

Thursday Thoughts: Australia Day...

Given that its Australia Day today, its only fitting that Thursday thoughts has an Australian vibe to it. The following came to me courtesy of my lovely friend Ali. Made me laugh so much (anyone who isn't Australian or hasn't had contact with the country and people in any way, shape or form will probably be thinking 'what the hell?' but its such a great reminder of what a unique place we live in...

You know you're Australian if:

• You believe that stubbies can be drunk or worn
• You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear Americans 'rooting' for something
• You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin'
• You can translate Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Macca's
• You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate their highways with large fiberglass banana's prawns and sheep
• You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be shortened to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be shortened to "Woy"
• You believe all famous kiwi's are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become kiwi's
• You know its not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a branding iron
• You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in "o"- arvo, combo, garbo, kero, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc
• You know that there is a universal place called 'Woop Woop' located in the middle of nowhere... no matter where you actually are
• You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer because it tastes like shit. But we let the world think we do - because we can
• You know that some people pronounce 'Australia' like 'Straya' and that's ok

Hope everyone had a great day (despite the very un-Australian weather; in Sydney town at least....)!

Wednesday Words of Wisdom: Bliss Doors...

                                                          Source: inspacesbetween.com via Belinda on Pinterest

Tuesday Treats: Chocolate Mousse...

                                                                     Source: joannagoddard.blogspot.com via Belinda on Pinterest

                                                                 Source: joannagoddard.blogspot.com via Belinda on Pinterest

Monday Musings: The Difficult...

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"Be of good courage, all is before you, and time passed in the difficult is never lost... What is required of us is that we live in the difficult and learn to deal with it. In the difficult are the friendly forces, the hands that work with us."  Rilke

This week I am committed to embracing the difficult. To live with it, learn from it and deal with it in order to become the greatest version of me I can be.....


Note: Apologies for there being no Saturday Soul this week. I actually had written the post but had enormous problems with saving and uploading it. I had thought that after an hour of trying it had posted only to now realise it hadn't. I just tried to post it again and lost the whole thing - don't know what is going on with blogger???? Needless to say, I now give up - it obviously just wasn't meant to be no matter how great I thought it was!

Sunday Sounds: Phil Collins...

It is impossible not to be in a good mood when you listen to this Phil Collins classic...

Fabulous Friday: Used Yoga Mat...

                                                                Source: rippedandfit.tumblr.com via Belinda on Pinterest

The following is a Used Yoga Mat for Sale Ad on Craigslist (I came across it via facebook via Body Mind Green). So hilarious, I laughed for ages after I read it. A definite fabulous Friday.....

Yoga mat for sale. Used once. - $1 (Bellevue)

Yoga mat for sale. Used once at lunch hour class in December 2009. Usage timeline as follows:

11:45a
Register for hot yoga class. Infinite wisdom tells me to commit to 5 class package and purchase a yoga mat. I pay $89.74. Money well spent, I smugly confirm to myself.

11:55a
Open door to yoga room. A gush of hot dry air rushes through and past me. It smells of breath, sweat and hot. Take spot on floor in back of room next to cute blonde. We will date.

11:57a
I feel the need to be as near to naked as possible. This is a problem because of the hot blonde to my left and our pending courtship. She will not be pleased to learn that I need to lose 30 pounds before I propose to her.

11:58a
The shirt and sweats have to come off. I throw caution to the wind and decide to rely on my wit and conditioning to overcome any weight issues my fiancée may take issue with. This will take a lot of wit and conditioning.

11:59a
Begin small talk with my bride to be. She pretends to ignore me but I know how she can be. I allow her to concentrate and stare straight ahead and continue to pretend that I don't exist. As we finish sharing our special moment, I am suddenly aware of a sweat moustache that has formed below my nose. This must be from the all the whispering between us.

12:00p
Instructor enters the room and ascends her special podium at the front of the room. She is a slight, agitated Chinese woman. She introduces me to the class and everyone turns around to greet me just as I decide to aggressively adjust my penis and testes packed in my Under Armor. My bride is notably unfazed.

12:02p
Since I do have experience with Hot Yoga (4 sessions just 5 short years ago) I fully consider that I may be so outstanding and skilled that my instructor may call me out and ask me to guide the class. My wife will look on with a sparkle in her eye. We will make love after class.

12:10p
It is now up to 95 degrees in the room. We have been practicing deep breathing exercises for the last 8 minutes. This would not be a problem if we were all breathing actual, you know, oxygen. Instead, we are breathing each other's body odor, expelled carbon dioxide and other unmentionables. (Don't worry, I'll mention them later.)

12:26p
It is now 100 degrees and I take notice of the humidity, which is hovering at about 90%. I feel the familiar adorning stare of my bride and decide to look back at her. She appears to be nauseated. I then realize that I forgot to brush my teeth prior to attending this class. We bond.

12:33p
It is now 110 degrees and 95% humidity. I am now balancing on one leg with the other leg crossed over the other. My arms are intertwined and I am squatting. The last time I was in this position was 44 years ago in the womb, but I'm in this for the long haul. My wife looks slightly weathered dripping sweat and her eyeliner is streaming down her face. Well, "for better or worse" is what we committed to so we press on.

12:40p
The overweight Hispanic man two spots over has sweat running down his legs. At least I think its sweat. He is holding every position and has not had a sip of water since we walked in. He is making me look bad and I hate him.

12:44p
I consider that if anyone in this room farted that we would all certainly perish.

12:52p
It is now 140 degrees and 100% humidity. I am covered from head to toe in sweat. There is not a square millimeter on my body that is not slippery and sweaty. I am so slimy that I feel like a sea lion or a maybe sea eel. Not even a bear trap could hold me. The sweat is stinging my eyeballs and I can no longer see.

12:55p
This room stinks of asparagus, cloves, tuna and tacos. There is no food in the room. I realize that this is an amalgamation of the body odors of 30 people in a 140 degree room for the last 55 minutes. Seriously, enough with the asparagus, ok?

1:01p
140 degrees and 130% humidity. Look, bitch, I need my space here so don't get all pissy with me if I accidentally sprayed you with sweat as I flipped over. Seriously, is that where this relationship is going? Get over yourself. We need counseling and she needs to be medicated. Stat!

1:09p
150 degrees and cloudy. And hot. I can no longer move my limbs on my own. I have given up on attempting any of the commands this Chinese chick is yelling out at us. I will lay sedentary until the aid unit arrives. I will buy this building and then have it destroyed.
I lose consciousness.

1:15p
I have a headache and my wife is being a selfish bitch. I can't really breathe. All I can think about is holding a cup worth of hot sand in my mouth. I cannot remember what an ice cube is and cannot remember what snow looks like. I consider that my only escape might be a crab walk across 15 bodies and then out of the room. I am paralyzed, and may never walk again so the whole crab walk thing is pretty much out.

1:17p
I cannot move at all and cannot reach my water. Is breathing voluntary or involuntary? If it's voluntary, I am screwed. I stopped participating in the class 20 minutes ago. Hey, lady! I paid for this frickin class, ok?! You work for me! Stop yelling at everyone and just tell us a story or something. It's like juice and cracker time, ok?

1:20p
It is now 165 degrees and moisture is dripping from the ceiling. The towel that I am laying on is no longer providing any wicking or drying properties. It is actually placing additional sweat on me as I touch it. My towel reeks. I cannot identify the smell but no way can it be from me. Did someone spray some stank on my towel or something?

1:30p
Torture session is over. I wish hateful things upon the instructor. She graciously allows us to stay and 'cool down' in the room. It is 175 degrees. Who cools down in 175 degrees? A Komodo Dragon? My wife has left the room. Probably to throw up.

1:34p
My opportunity to escape has arrived. I roll over to my stomach and press up to my knees. It is warmer as I rise up from ground level - probably by 15 degrees. So let's conservatively say it's 190. I muster my final energy and slowly rise. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Towards the door. Towards the door.

1:37p
The temperature in the lobby is 72 degrees. Both nipples stiffen to diamond strength and my penis begins to retract into my abdomen from the 100 degree temp swing. I can once again breathe though so I am pleased. I spot my future ex wife in the lobby. We had such a good thing going but I know that no measure of counseling will be able to unravel the day's turmoil and mental scaring.

1:47p
Arrive at Emerald City Smoothie and proceed to order a 32 oz beverage. 402 calories, 0 fat and 14 grams of protein -- effectively negating any caloric burn or benefit from the last 90 minutes. I finish it in 3 minutes and spend the next 2 hours writing this memoir.

3:47p
Create Craigslist ad while burning final 2 grams of protein from Smoothie and before the "shakes" consume my body.

4:29p
Note to self - check car for missing wet yoga towel in am. 

Any takers?! You can check out the actual picture of the mat and full ad for yourself here.

Published September 16, 2011 at 7:00 PM

Thursday Thoughts: Defining Your Destiny...

                                                                         Source: google.com.au via Lisa on Pinterest

I was browsing Oprah.com tonight and came across an article from her magazine where Oprah wrote about how she defined her own destiny. Such a smart, smart lady. The article is posted below, as it appears on the Oprah.com site:

In 1992 I decided to change the slant of The Oprah Winfrey Show from confrontational TV aimed at getting ratings to shows that took a "higher road" aimed at connection. I wanted to help people think differently about themselves and pursue ideas about spirit and balance and the possibility of a better life. It was a decision that was bigger than money or material interest. It was a paradigm shift—to use TV instead of being used by TV. To use it as a tool for good. That shift led to the creation of this magazine. And Oprah Radio. And OWN.

Using my voice as a force for good: It's what I was meant to do.

And I got here by listening to the still, small voice that I felt so strongly one evening on my grandmother's back porch when I was a girl.

All my life I have looked to God for guidance. In the early '90s, I started to recognize that I wouldn't survive if I continued to play the TV game my competitors were playing. One day while vacationing in Colorado, I went into the woods to quiet the noise of the world and contemplate my next move. I remember standing among the golden aspens and asking the voice that has been a comfort for so long: "What would you have me do?"

The answer came as it had when I was a girl: "Take the high road."

The decision to listen to this voice—against the advice of many of the stations that carried my show—is the reason I still have a show. If I had ignored it, I would have disappeared into the void of defunct broadcasting. There's a long, long list of talk shows that have come and gone since I started.

What I know for sure: Often we don't even realize who we're meant to be because we're so busy trying to live out someone else's ideas. But other people and their opinions hold no power in defining our destiny.

What has made me successful is the ability to surrender my plans, dreams, and goals to a power that's greater than other people and greater than myself.

Before making any major moves, I first ask: "What would you have me do? Who would you have me be?"

And then I try to live the answer.

 

Wednesday Words of Wisdom: True...

                                                         Source: lifeisabeautifulstruggle.tumblr.com via Belinda on Pinterest

Tuesday Treats: Lemon Meringue Pie...

                                                                             Source: thestonesoup.com via Belinda on Pinterest

Monday Musings: Lessons in authenticity from U2...

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It was the summer of 1985 and U2 were pretty excited. They felt they were on the cusp of being where they wanted to be. Not just another rock band. Their music was gaining a following beyond Ireland, their records were selling and people seemed to be taking notice. There was a sense that it wouldn't be long before they broke into the elusive US market.

They had been given a magnificent opportunity, not just to help raise the desperately needed money for the starving in Africa but to get exposure to a live audience of 80,000 and 2 billion more who would be watching the televised Live Aid around the world.

The fifteen minute set would include three songs: "Pride" their big hit being the finale. This could be the making of them. Half way through their performance Bono inexplicably left his fellow band members helplessly filling in on stage, he moved forward, edging ever closer to the crowd, reaching out and gesturing as if to pull them towards him.

Finally he broke every single rule in the book and leaped from the stage. The yellow shirted security guards were panic stricken. A young woman was plucked from the sea of faces and delivered into Bono's arms. He embraced her and they danced as the band played on until he finally released her with a kiss on the back of her hand.

As the set came to an abrupt end Bono realised he'd blown it. There was no time to play "Pride" and U2 left the stage looking shell shocked.

In the days, weeks and even months after Live Aid many people said that Bono leaping down to dance with the girl was the most memorable moment of the event. That unplanned performance is now recognised as a defining moment in U2's career.

Being spontaneous and authentic it turns out can be a great way to really connect with people.

As written in You Are The Map Maker via Women In Business

Sunday Sounds: Lady Antebellum...

Saturday Soul: Guilt Ridden...

                                                                        Source: google.com via Belinda on Pinterest

Tonight my heart feels sad and dark and angry. You know those situations where you are so frustrated you think you will explode? That's me tonight. I won't go into the reason behind it in detail because it involves my ex and I would never air my 'dirty laundry' as such in this domain. But Saturday Soul is, for me, a space for writing or sharing authentically - either my personal writing or the writing of others that touches my soul. And tonight my soul needs to write realistically about what it is feeling.

It has always been a priority for me to ensure that my little man is not affected emotionally by any issues between me and my ex (well anymore than he inevitably is going to be). In particular, I don't want us to fight and argue in front of him. Most of the time this is achievable. But every now and then, like tonight, my best intentions go out the window. Tonight I just couldn't bite my tongue, hide my anger, stop my tears. I was so hurt, angry, frustrated disrespected and insulted that I straight out reacted. There is no excuse for it, but it can be so overwhelmingly difficult to maintain the environment I want to, given that my ex and I are no longer together for a reason and our ability to communicate is not great at the best of times. When I get pushed to my emotional limit and it is in regards to Bailey who is the most important person in the world to me, it can lead me to breaking point - like tonight.  

And the guilt that I feel as a result, is immense.......

Fabulous Friday: Too Cool For School...

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Thursday Thoughts: Map Of The Soul...

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One of my goals for this year is to complete the Map Of The Soul book, by Tricia Brennan. The purpose of the book is to help you discover your true purpose and to determine and remove the obstacles that hold you back from freedom and happiness. You work through different levels and I have completed Level 1 and part of Level 2. Level 1 focused on negative self talk and shifting your internal dialogue. As Tricia suggests, it takes discipline to stay awake and challenge your negative thoughts. So far this year, I've been extremely conscious of my thoughts (primarily because I felt I moved through so much of last year unconsciously and don't want that to be the case in 2012), and it has been a good thing for me. Its definitely a challenge to re-frame negative thoughts and to not drift into unconscious living, but I'm plugging away at it!


I'm currently reading Level 2 which is about redefining your self image. In this section it states that your subconscious communicates through the language of pictures and feelings. That's why its important you have a strong sense of the qualities you want to develop and a clear vision of the person you wish to become as a reference to build a dream on. I totally agree but, for me, this is the hard part. I have snippets of who and what I want to be, but I don't feel that I have a complete picture necessarily. Sitting down and getting quiet enough to create that image and those feelings each day also takes a lot of discipline, and I'm not as disciplined as I could be. The minute my brain gets an inkling of struggle or something feels a bit tough, my ego kicks in and convinces me to 'do it tomorrow', to 'wait until I feel like doing it' or to do it 'when I have the perfect answer in my head'. Of course these situations and scenarios never arise. So nothing happens, which means nothing in my life changes and the cycle continues!


Anyway.... despite the challenges I am persevering. I know a shift is required on my part and that it's time for me to create my reality through work and action (the only way anything really happens). So when the thought runs through my head to put off working through an exercise or completing a meditation I challenge myself to do it right then and there. I always end up being glad I did and nine times out of ten, the showing up, making the effort and just starting something is all you need to do for the rest to fall into place (even on the days I don't think anything worthy could possibly come out of my head, something always does). I'm looking forward to seeing how my thoughts, reality and hence life shifts as I work through the book. I'm under no illusion that it's going to be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is, is it?

Wednesday Words of Wisdom: Realizations...

                                                             Source: tomorrow-maybe.tumblr.com via Belinda on Pinterest

Tuesday Tunes: John Mayer Live in L.A...

Tuesday Treats: I fell in love with a cheese plate...

The other night I went to a little wine bar near Bondi Beach called Speakeasy, with my twin sister. We had the most amazing Man O' War Pinot Gris that perfectly complimented our divine cheese and meat plates. The cheese plate, in particular the Triple Cream Brie (back right hand corner of the board), that we had was beyond words. It was sooooo good! I will definitely be going back asap!

Monday Musings: A Picture Tells A Thousand Words...

Check out the picture below and you can probably guess what this post is going to be about. Nothing else can be said - there can be no sugar coating today. This day just straight out sucks. Thanks in large part to a little man who I used to know as my sweet adorable son, but whom appears to have been kidnapped and replaced with the spawn of the devil. I suppose I should have seen it coming really. He was so good over Christmas and the New Year, that I should have known the trade off would have to come eventually. Just really stinks that it had to be on my first day back at work, which was already hard enough to fathom. 


I'm not being negative, just realistic. I am under no illusions that kids are perfect, nor should they be -  and I fully understand part of growing and learning involves off days and pushing the boundaries etc. But yesterday and today have been beyond the pail. I won't go into too much detail because I already need therapy without making myself re-live the experience. I will say, however, that the behaviour exhibited by my child has been nothing short of diabolical at times. Whinging, tantrums, screaming, throwing objects. You name it I've heard it. No matter what response I give to any question, even if it is the response that he asked me to give, it will be wrong. And will induce tears and tantrums and yelling of abuse. And the worst part is that when I picked him up from Kindy tonight the teacher said "He has been so beautiful today." I stood there dumbfounded and then was stupidly lulled into a false sense of security thinking that the beautiful smiling angel next to me would remain just that for the duration of the evening with me. Negative Ghost Rider. We went to the park, where he got to ride his scooter around and every passer by was looking at him with a look of "what a cute kid - a real little dude cruising on his scooter" (hell, even I thought this to myself on a number of occasions and truly thought I was out of the woods). Then BAM! For no good reason at all he goes all Jekyll and Hyde on me and I endure an hour and a half of tantrum throwing that would leave satan shuddering. And that ladies and gentleman has been my night (oh and morning for that matter). 

So on that note I would like to say that on some nights all you can do is pour yourself a glass of wine, get a plate of cheese and biscuits and pray to God above that tomorrow will be a different day.......

Sunday Sounds: Walk Off The Earth...

These guys are awesome. Another referal from facebook that is a winner. The Gotye cover is brilliant but I also love their Man Down cover. And the fact that the guy with the long hairs' name is Gianni Luminati makes it even better!

Saturday Soul: The Hokey Pokey and other life lessons...

Last night, the universe has definitely conspired to have me view two separate TEDx talks that seemed to be speaking directly to me. Alexie O'Brien is the General Manager of lululemon athletica Australia/NZ and an inspiring woman who I had the pleasure to spend time with when I worked with lululemon. She recently spoke at a TEDx event in Victoria and her message about being fully committed to your life is one which is spot on. The second TEDx video by Jim Sorensen, appealed to me because of his thoughts on reality, context and hard work.

What struck me the most when I watched both of these videos was how much I have come to a new level of acceptance and understanding about the journey I have been on over the past few years. This time last year, I was not in a place to take on board messages like these (As I'm sure Alexie can atest!). Intellectually and logically, I knew they rang true and I had once been a living, breathing example of putting them into practice, having discovered them for myself over the 2-3 years prior. And it frustrated me to no end that I couldn't just hear messages such as these and slip back into that way of being. I made it mean there was something inherently wrong with me - that I hadn't evolved as a person like I thought I had. That I wasn't inspiring and never would be again. That I'd lost the 'old' Bel and now I was this person that no-one would like and who I didn't like. But in hindsight, my context was way out of wack and the expectations I was placing on myself were crazy. I was trying to view myself or make myself live through someone else's reality and I wasn't giving myself the permission to live via my own reality, which was that of a 33 year old woman who was living through the breakdown of a 7 year marriage to the father of my child, to a man I had been in a relationship with through my whole adult life, that started when I was really a child myself. I was negotiating the seriously hard road of being a single parent trying to help my son adjust whilst trying to keep my head above water financially and dealing with all my and my husbands emotions etc etc. To expect myself to be a beacon of light and happiness, of shining inspiration and a woman with all my shit together at that time was utterly ridiculous. And it took me a long while and a twisted journey over the past year to finally give myself the permission to just be in the place that I was in and not make myself wrong for it. To take as long as I needed to transition out of this phase and into a new one (which was extremely hard when it seemed for most of this year that the anxiety, fear and sadness would never pass and true joy would never return). But it has passed and the new dawn is coming. There's still a way to go but it's closer than ever and I can see the sun shining through again. And I only got to this point by being able to accept and allow myself to go through what I needed to go through - in my own way and nobody else's. To take a step back because I needed to. To lie low, re-group and recover. (And I want to emphasise that this is very different to giving up or not taking responsibility for our lives. Sometimes we have to take the pressure off and stop trying to push forward at 100 miles an hour or force ourselves through something in a given time frame. What takes one person 1 year to go through may take another 2 or 3 years, and that's ok. But there is a distinct difference between evolving through something and completely giving up and abandoning your life, which isn't healthy).

Anyway, the fact that I can view talks such as these and hear the messages and be inspired again gives me hope that I've come out the other side of this challenge but also a sense of being at peace with the past year and my own journey. I know that some days, weeks, months or years, I will shine and be strong and others I will struggle and get knocked down. But I'm okay with that because its the cycle of life. The cycle of my life and my journey and no one else's. That's how it's supposed to be and that's ok...

Fabulous Friday: Yoga By Equinox...

A friend of mine posted this clip on facebook today. Call it yoga or gymnastics or whatever. Either way, its pretty fabulous......

Thursday Thoughts: Hopi Says...

                                                                         Source: sufizenlove.com via Belinda on Pinterest

You have been telling people that this is the Eleventh Hour, now you
must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour. And there are
things to be considered. . . .

Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?

Know your garden.
It is time to speak your truth.
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for your leader.

Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said, “This could be a
good time! There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and
swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on
to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer
greatly. Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let
go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes
open, and our heads above the water.

And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in
history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves. For
the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey come to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!
Banish the word ‘struggle’ from your attitude and your vocabulary. All
that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

via Steph Corker!

Wednesday Words of Wisdom: Flying Solo...

                                                                     Source: boodahboy.com via Belinda on Pinterest

Tuesday Tunes: Olafur Arnalds...

Tuesday Treats: Muppets...

In honour of the Muppet Movie coming out, check out these amazing cupcakes. Too good to eat!

                                                                      Source: Uploaded by user via Belinda on Pinterest

Monday Musings: Anthony Robbins...

                                                              Source: frommoon2moon.tumblr.com via Belinda on Pinterest

Anthony Robbins on what changed his life......


"Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is raise your standards. When people ask me what really changed my life I tell them that absolutely the most important thing was changing what I demanded of myself. I wrote down all the things I would no longer accept in my life, and the things I would no longer tolerate, and also the things I aspired to becoming".

Sunday Soul: Words To Live By in 2012...

                                                                       Source: 500px.com via Belinda on Pinterest

I needed to mark the first day of 2012 which some significant words. The ones that follow are from Stephanie Dowrick and are the greatest reminder of how we are responsible for our world and everything that happens in it. This is the place I want to come from as I move my way through 2012......

Whatever you wish there was more of, be that.

Whatever you want your relationships and friendships to be, be that.

Whatever you want the world to be, be that.

If you want there to be less fear and more love in the world, start with yourself. 

If you want there to be less stress, anxiety, depression and tension in the world, start with yourself.

If you want the world to be a more peaceful place, fairer, more generous and compassionate, start with yourself.