Lately I've been thinking a lot about habits - particularly in regard to habits in my thinking. Last night I got to thinking about the way my mind perceives scenarios and choices that are presented to me. An event comes into my mind and is filtered straight away as a right or a wrong - that's my default way of thinking. And this default creates an enormous amount of pressure and in turn makes me feel stuck and fearful of making decisions because my brain doesn't want to make the 'wrong' decision. It makes me feel that I get choice a). or b). and one is right and one is wrong. And if I choose the 'wrong' one there will be consequences that are 'bad'.
What I want to try on is the idea that each situation is just what it is. It doesn't have to be 'right' or 'wrong.' Yes there will be a consequence or result for any decision made but there doesn't need to be a ledger in my own head of right or wrong (totally linked to high expectations and judging myself too harshly - but that's a whole other post!). This might sound really simple and goes without saying for some people. But we all have our defaults or ways of operating that have been ingrained in us from so long ago that we aren't even aware of it (or we are and it can feel impossible to break out of decades of habitual thinking and reaction). Obviously that is not going to be changed or shifted in a week or maybe even months. But I know that with consistent monitoring it can be done and I'm going to acknowledge myself for being aware of it.
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