Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
Monday Musings: Restored...
Well, the break I gave myself last week was just what the Doctor ordered. I managed to stem the tide of being dragged into an abyss of exhaustion and overwhelm, which means that this week I am motivated, energised and feeling happy. I have gone for years of my life operating from a place where all decisions were influenced by feelings of guilt, or obligation. Very rarely did I make decisions or choices based on what I really wanted or what was best for me. I don't think I truly believed or understood that that was an option or that you could exist like that. I'm also sure I didn't have a firm grasp on exactly what I did want in my life, which also makes it quite difficult to make empowering choices!
But now, at the ripe old age of 34, I have finally accepted that it is, in fact, the only way to live a life where I am being true to myself, and I am so much better for it. Previously I felt a great deal of anxiety around what people would think of me if I didn't do what I thought they wanted me to (note the use of the phrase 'what I thought they wanted me to'. Half the time I'm sure I was projecting ideas onto people that were not what they were really thinking, and I could have saved myself a lot of time and emotional angst had I simply communicated with them openly). I made it mean the end of the world to say I couldn't attend something I had committed to because I had such a hang up around not wanting to let anyone else, or myself, down.
Even giving myself permission to wipe my slate clear of obligations last week and only do the bare minimum that I needed to, shifted my energy. I had thought that I wouldn't do any cleaning or tidying (and I had given myself permission to not do it), but before Thursday my home had been cleaned and I'd done it happily because I'd shifted my thinking and it wasn't a 'have to do'. I was able to rest and devote a little more time to work, which also made me feel so much better because I got on top of things.
Life is a constant juggling act. One week we need to devote more time to family, the next to work or to yourself. Some weeks you can pull off everything effortlessly, without giving it a second thought and other weeks require a far more concerted effort to get it all happening. The key is to be in tune with what you need. Listen to what your mind and body is telling you it needs and respond accordingly. Give yourself permission!
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Saturday Soul: Mr Bel...
Dear Mr Bel,
Ok, I'm not calling you that because I have some radical feminist thing going on. Its just because I need to refer to you as something and 'Mr X' feels creepy. 'Mr Big' might work, except it may set up some Chris Noth comparisons that aren't really fair on anyone. But I digress.....
Anyway, my point in writing this is to let you know how much I am looking forward to meeting you. Even though I don't know exactly who you are or when you're coming, I feel that you are already occupying a place in my heart. That's a big deal you know because there hasn't been a legitimate place in my heart for anyone for quite some time. I've said the words 'I want to be in a relationship' before now but deep down I knew it wasn't coming for me - it wasn't the right time. I had unfinished business to take care of re getting myself back together. It was a hard slog, let me tell you, but one that was absolutely necessary. It was also one that has brought me to the point where I feel ready to share me because I'm happy and comfortable with me. All the lessons I've learned and things I've worked through have helped me establish the kind of person I would like to welcome into my life.
You already know these things about yourself, but for the benefit of my readers I will tell them that you are mature, thoughtful, creative, compassionate, confident, intelligent, down to earth, grounded, emotionally expressive, self-aware, fun, you love music, love reading and you think I'm the ants pants (and you happily tell me so). I also obviously happen to think you are the ants pants, so its a match made in heaven.
I am seriously looking forward to enjoying your company. Going to nice restaurants, seeing movies at The Dendy, live music at The Basement and other clubs, reading next to each other at a cafe on a Saturday morning and talking, talking, talking. Our coming together will be easy and effortless because the timing is right and we have both been waiting for each other to come along.
Looking forward to that day.....
x Bel
P.S No, I am not going loopy writing to imaginary boyfriends. I've just decided that its time to put out to The Universe what I'm looking for. Unless you are really clear in your heart what you want and until you're willing to ask for it out loud, you're never going to get it. I'm clear and I'm asking and now I will sit back and continue to emanate my good Bel vibes until Divine timing occurs. Thank you in advance Universe!
Friday, May 4, 2012
Fabulous Friday: Somethin' for The Weekend...
The art of 'I Just Know It' (A guide to living intuitively in the modern world).
Need some inspiration to start working out? Check out the Nike 'Make Yourself' campaign and you'll be lacing up your trainers in no time. An added bouns is the photography of Annie Leibovitz - the pics of Aussie pro surfer Laura Enerver are my faves!
OMG, does someone want to make these for me?
Danielle LaPorte rocks my world, as usual, with this post.
Currently lusting after many a thing from Watson x Watson.
Some light entertainment with Sam de Brito's take on how he was ripped off being a teenager in the 80's.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Thursday Thoughts: The Sadhu...
Last week I mentioned that I am doing a creative writing course. So I thought that this week I would share a piece of writing from my homework. We are given a cue and then need to write for 10 mins or 3 pages and we post roughly 250 words on the writers board for everyone to give feedback on. Here was one of my efforts from the week:
As Lyndsay surveyed the thriving mass of humanity in front
of her, her gaze was drawn to the Sadhu sitting on the ground next to the
entrance to the Laxman Jhula suspension bridge. He was perched on top of a
small bundle of what appeared to be his only worldly possessions. She had heard
a little about these Holy men but it was the first time she had seen one up
close herself. He had glasses that resembled the bottom of glass coca-cola
bottles. Inches thick and caked in so much dirt and grime that she couldn’t
believe they were actually helping him see. His face was a mass of wrinkles
that seemed to have every second of his lifetime etched on his face. He looked
like he had not bathed in weeks, maybe even months and his long, thick, grey
hair was matted and dreaded to such an extent that Lyndsay could imagine
snapping one of them off if she tried to touch them.
Despite all the chaos and craziness around him, the Sadhu
appeared to be in his own world. Scooter tyres skimmed his feet, pilgrims
brushed past dropping offerings of food in his rusty bowl, and monkeys jostled
for prime position on the ropes of the suspension bridge. Yet he remained calm
and still as if in a trance. In the exact same instant that Lyndsay raised her
SLR to her eye and began to zoom the lens towards him, he raised his head and
locked his eyes right on hers. Her breath left her body, sucked out of her like
air from a popped balloon. His gaze was so intense that it was burning right
through her. She couldn’t figure out what was going on. She knew she was in
Rishikesh and moments ago she had been about to take a photo but at the same
time she felt that she had just left this world. Departed through a rabbit
hole, just like Alice, only through the eyes of a Holy Man. It was as if he was
unlocking everything that was inside her. Every secret and doubt and thought
stripped bare. Pulled inside out and then slipped back in again before she even
knew what was happening.
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